COMMONSENSE WISDOM

Sliding Otter Publications

Mission: To help readers be more aware of themselves

and their impact on others

Joseph G. Langen, Ph.D.

598 E. Main St. Batavia, NY 14020

(585) 343-2693

 E-mail: jlangen@commonsense-wisdom.com

Listen to Phil Davis of Authors on the Net interview Dr. Langen about his writing career, books and marketing.

• Learn about Commonsense Wisdom for Everyday Life.
   
• Learn about my second book, Young Man of the Cloth.
   
• Learn about my latest published book, The Pastor's Inferno.
   
• For more specific information about my books, go to www.slidingotter.com
   
• Please see Conversations with Calliope, my ongoing dialogue with my muse.
   
• If you have a question about commonsense wisdom, send me an e-mail at jlangen@commonsense-wisdom.com and I will try to answer it here on my web page.
• See more about my writing and read several stories at Author's Den: 
                                           

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Commonsense Wisdom posts (added every two weeks and first published in The Daily News, Batavia, NY):

Dealing with Stress and Its Discontents

 8/02/08

I find it hard lately to drive anywhere without finding another car ten feet behind me, desperately seeking a way to pass me. Some television commercials shout at prospective buyers or bombard them with frenetic claims overlapping one another. Newspaper and magazine articles blame stress for physical and emotional ailments. Lately, I have noticed more reports of murder-suicide in cases where people apparently find life intolerable. Stress.

Sigmund Freud wrote a book called Civilization and Its Discontents. Without belaboring Freud’s comments, two statements from the introduction struck me. One is Freud’s observation that people would rather suffer than change. The other is a summary of the book’s theme that as long as there is culture, people will be unhappy.

I didn’t like reading either statement. I like to think that people can change in a way which makes their lives more satisfying or at least more tolerable. I also don’t like the idea that culture makes people unhappy. Would we be any happier in an uncivilized world?

Certainly civilization means that our world is more complex. Our lives in a civilized society consist of more than hunting, eating, procreating and dying. I think it would be fair to say that founders of the world’s great civilizations sought to make the world a better place in which to live at least for their own citizens.

So where did stress come from? At one time people were so focused on survival that they had no extra time or energy to consider how they felt about their lives. Vacations, weekends and time for relaxation just didn’t exist. Now they do. We have come to rely on our leisure and even expect it as our birthright. Maybe feeling unexpected inconvenience leads to stress. We tell ourselves we have a right to life on our own terms. Maybe we have forgotten that life is a combination of joy, learning and discovery accompanied by sorrow, loss and challenge.

How can we deal with stress? First we should consider how much stress we create through our expectations. If we are convinced that life should involve no disappointments or inconvenience, we are bound to feel off kilter. Our frantic efforts to tailor the world to our convenience can’t lead to anything but stress. We can avoid much of our stress by accepting the world as we find it rather than trying to force it into the mold we would like.  

I remember Eckhard Tolle saying that we have three choices when faced with a situation we don’t like. We can accept the situation as it is. We can do what is possible to change the situation and then move on. We can also become upset about it. What’s your choice?

Life Lab Lessons

• Consider how you usually deal with uncomfortable situations in your life.

• Are you satisfied with your approach?

• How else can you react?

• Ask yourself whether your expectations of life are realistic.

• If not, how can you adjust your expectations?

Read about other Commonsense Wisdom topics

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What is Commonsense Wisdom?

To me, Commonsense Wisdom is learning to look at ourselves, others, and the world or our everyday life in a meaningful way rather than rushing or mindlessly plodding through each day.

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Why should I care about Commonsense Wisdom?

1. More than half of all marriages end in divorce.

2. The great majority of new businesses don't last more than a year.

3. Count the number of ads for anxiety and depression medications every night on TV.

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What accounts for these failures?

Many people rarely stop to think about what they are doing with their lives, their relationships and their businesses.

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What can I do to improve my success in these three areas?

Learn about:

Agreements for Life

Relationships- Social, Family, Problem

Spirituality

Adversity

Evil

• Order Commonsense Wisdom for Everyday Life, a book about handling everyday situations in a commonsense way.  It is available as a soft cover book.
   

• Read more about Commonsense Wisdom for Everyday Life at the Sliding Otter Publications website.

Joseph G. Langen, Ph.D.
Licensed Psychologist

For questions about my writing, e-mail me at: 

jlangen@commonsense-wisdom.com

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