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Recent Commonsense Wisdom Columns

First published in The Daily News, Batavia, NY

  As Featured On Ezine Articles

Inspiration Plus Perspiration Equals Creativity
(1/03/09)

The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have
created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.
Albert Einstein

Recently I was working on publicity for my new book. The harder I worked, the less I seemed to accomplish. My friend Gerry finally reminded me that I was probably working too hard at it. He got me thinking about the creative process.

For some people like Mozart artistic inspiration arrives intact. He was able to write down whole symphonies without the need to change even one note when he finished. Other people seem to need to slave interminably to create something they feel proud of. Napoleon Hill tells the story of going to visit the philosopher Elmer Gates armed with a letter of introduction from Andrew Carnegie. He was put off by Dr. Gates' secretary who announced that he was "sitting for ideas" in a quiet room and could not be disturbed for the next few hours.

The creative process starts when we arrange circumstances which open us to inspiration. If we are too busy to allow ideas to form in our heads, all the hard work in the world will not lead us anywhere. Most of us do not inherit Mozart's genius. We might not need the several hours Dr Gates set aside each day, but we do need a quiet space at least in our minds to allow inspiration a place to land. Unfortunately we seem too busy these days.

I found many attempts to lay out the steps toward achieving creativity. Most of them involve a logical progression from inspiration to the finished result. I found lists of five to seventeen steps. As I reviewed them, I found the creative process fading into the daily grind of thinking, analyzing and experimenting. The more detail, the less room for creativity, or at least that's how it seems to me.

I see creativity as maintaining a balance between inspiration and perspiration. We need to keep the original creative idea before us while at the same time doing the hard work of implementing it in the real world.  We need to keep our head in the clouds while keeping our feet on the ground. While this balance makes sense to me, actually doing it is my greatest challenge. Dreaming seems impractical while working on the details seems like drudgery.

The creative challenge lies in inhabiting the space between the inspiration and perspiration worlds. We need to learn to stretch ourselves beyond our current limits while remaining grounded in reality. No wonder so many people give up efforts at creativity. The challenge appears beyond our capability but learning to do something new moves us into parts of ourselves we might not have imagined.

 Life Lab Lessons

  • What was your last creative idea?

  • Did you see it through or decide it was impractical?

  • How much do you trust your creative urges?

  • The next time you have a creative urge, write it down.

  • Let it percolate in your mind and see what develops.

 

Finding Peace in Troubled Times

 (12/20/08)

Peace on earth is one of the central themes and our most fervent hope during the Christmas and Hanukkah seasons. Yet how can we dare hope for peace in the world which surrounds us? For me, peace comes from accepting the joy and opportunities I find waiting for me each day. I asked some of my readers what brought them peace. Here's what they said.

I find my greatest sense of peace from:

…listening to Josh Groban's music-Linda Griswold.
…rocking a baby- Carol Gomborone.
…watching a winter snow storm- Pat Smith.
…the last few minutes of alertness before I fall asleep, knowing there is so much in
   life I need to accomplish, but knowing I have to set it all aside to rest or I won't    
   accomplish anything- Sue Gagne.
…knowing I am able to provide for my family- Neil Gagne.
…when people don't fight- Allison Bryant.
…food- especially French Toast. Peace is Love- Joey Gagne.
…seeing my grandchildren laughing- Harvey Stoler.
…most of all being in the company of family and loved ones- Peter Langen.
…nature, particularly bird-watching- Maureen Schneider
…watching the swans return just before Christmas to the lake behind my house;
    for me it marks the beginning of the Christmas season- Beth Cahaney.
…sitting in the middle of a beautiful forest listening to the birds and watching all the
    animals. This is when my mind becomes uncluttered and my heart stills- Carol
    Bencal.
…being outside with nature in any form- Mike Gomborone.
…when I am praying in God's presence- Becky Langen.
…when I'm just hanging out with my family- usually just sitting around the table
    eating or playing card games- Phil Davis.
…feeling God's presence in prayer- Eleanor Celentani.
…closing my eyes, stroking one of my cats and repeating silently, "slow me down
    Lord, ease the pounding in my heart by the quieting of my mind"- Sharon Frost. 
…the closeness of my family- Jeff Fredenberg.
…knowing that each and every day I try to be the best person I can be and remember
    one thing: if you want to do something bad enough for someone else, you will find
    a way to do so-Linda Viverito.
…spending time with friends and walking in the woods or on the beach-Judie         
    Heamon.
…surf fishing- Tom Heamon.
…knowing the Lord will provide- Sheila Furr.
 

      Thank you to all my readers who contributed their thoughts. I hope you all enjoy your sources of peace in the Christmas and Hanukkah seasons and that the rest of my readers also find their personal experience of peace.

 

Rebuilding Our World Standing and Self Respect
12/6/08

 In the last analysis, what we are communicates
far more eloquently than anything we say or do.

Stephen Covey

A recent survey by the Josephson Institute found that ninety-two percent of high school students admit lying to their parents over the past twelve months. Forty percent of boys and thirty percent of girls admit stealing from a store in the past year. Sixteen percent admit being drunk in school. Sixty eight percent hit someone in anger.

The statistics are not encouraging to say the least. We usually think of youths as idealistic. An internet article about this survey on About.com suggests that adults and teens need to start talking together about ethics. Somehow I don't think talking is enough. I wonder how things have gotten to this point.

My opinion is that these statistics are a reflection of the direction our national character is taking. When I think about the world standing of our country, I realize we have lost our reputation for moral leadership in the view of much of the rest of the world. When I read the papers, I see evidence that many of us have lost respect for ourselves in the way we conduct our lives, caring more for what we can get than for how others perceive us. Are we on earth to grab what we can or to share our life journey with our fellow travelers?

I am not suggesting that everyone in our country has abandoned his or her values. When I think about news I have read over the past couple months, I recall one day when good news outweighed the bad, or at least that's how it was reported. In my opinion, our moral crisis is at least as serious as our economic one.

Too many of us conduct our lives based on money we hope to have in the future. We are doing the same thing at a national level. Eckhart Tolle in his books, The Power of Now and The New Earth encouraged us to live in the present moment, accepting our limitations and challenges. There are effective ways to live regardless of our circumstances. They don't include wishful thinking or compromising our ethics to get what we want.

Our way of life can offer the rest of the world a good example. Our industriousness, concern for our fellows, equal opportunity, fairness and justice as well as respect for others can encourage others to adopt the same values. But it is hard to be taken seriously if we profess these beliefs and act in a way which discounts these values. 

Maybe it's time for all of us to reevaluate what we believe, what we want and what we will leave as our legacy to our children. If our character is obvious from how we conduct our lives, we have something of value to offer to those we encounter on our life journey.

Life Lab Lessons:

  • Consider what you profess to believe.

  • Look at how you live your life.

  • Do the two match?

  • Make sure your life demonstrates what you believe.

  • Lead by example.

    

What Should I Do After the Election?

11/22/08

Both major parties promised change in the recent election. Many of us in the Unites States quietly grumble about the stagnation of our economy and resulting way of life. Barack Obama ran on a theme of hope. My sense is that our citizens would like to be hopeful. Do we dare hope? Many news analysts have expressed the opinion that world economic and political realities these days limit a president's best intentions.

With all the challenges facing our country, expecting one person, even a president, to right our course is unrealistic. What we need is beyond the capabilities of one individual, no matter how charismatic. The challenge faces all of us.

So, do we just give up? As a nation we never have before. Why start now? First we need to understand why we are stuck and then decide what to do about it. Over our history we have shared our material wealth and ingenuity with others less fortunate than we are. In the process of helping others better themselves we have enriched our own lives.

Unfortunately many of us concluded that we have shared enough and have switched priorities to stockpiling as much as we can, holding on to it as tightly as possible. We forget that the tighter we cling to what's in our hands, the harder it is for the world's wealth to circulate, enriching us all in the process. We seem to have forgotten what prosperity is. We have come to see it as a process of amassing as much as we can and preventing others from snatching what we have. So what's missing?

First, prosperity is a state of mind rather than of the wallet or bank account. We can think of wealth as something to hoard or something to share. What happens when we cling tightly to what we can grab, viewing everyone else as a competitor rather than a companion?

A children's story tells of an old woman trying to get her pig to jump over the fence so she can get home that night. She looks in vain for help until she happens upon a willing mouse to get the process moving. By the end of the story, the mouse finally begins to gnaw the rope, which begins to tie the butcher who begins to kill the ox who begins to drink the water which begins to quench the fire which begins to burn the stick which begins to beat the pig which jumps over the fence and the old woman gets home that night.

Of course it's just a children's story but it illustrates the chain of events and cooperation necessary to get anything done. Prosperity means sharing our dreams, talents, energies and resources to begin moving together toward a common good. I don't think it's too late. Remember the story of the first Thanksgiving and the example it set for us as a nation.

Life Lab Lessons

  •   Is your glass half full or half empty?

  •   Do you focus on what you have or don't have?

  •   How can sharing your resources help others be more productive?

  •   View our nation's resurgence as your responsibility too.

  •   Encourage others to join you and do their part.  

Loving in the Shadow of Cancer

11/08/08

Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible -- it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform
you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could.
Barbara De Angelis

St. Paul wrote to the Corinthians, “Love is always patient, love is always kind.” We hear these words most often in wedding ceremonies. Loving is easy at this special moment and other times of celebration for lovers.

How hard is it to be patient when everything falls into place? How hard is it to be kind when life treats you well? Unfortunately life is not always generous or accommodating. Sometimes it is very difficult and threatens to disrupt and destroy the relationships which make our lives worth living.

Cancer sometimes unravels the body piece by piece, stripping off former skills and even basic abilities. At other times cancer provides a brief scare but no real interference with life as we know it. It can also cause a major disruption but after treatment allow us to go on as before or change the course of life irrevocably.

Recently I had the privilege of spending some time with my friends Kat and Paula. I saw the power of cancer but also its limits. Cancer undermines Kat’s stamina, balance and concentration. However it is powerless to shake their love and can’t stop them from expressing it in kisses, embraces and loving glances. I thought of the line from Michael Row the Boat Ashore, “The River Jordan is chilly and cold. Chills the body but not the soul.” Their love shines through the strain of cancer and remains stronger than anything it can throw at them.

Eighteen years together has prepared their love for each other to withstand the onslaught of one of the worst trials I can imagine.  In the face of extreme stress, beyond what many of us will ever face, their affection radiates love at a level I have seldom seen in any relationship, particularly under the circumstances which face them.

Cancer seems to take over the lives of those it affects and we appear to be at its mercy. But we do have choices. We can allow cancer to take its course or we can accept medical treatment, alternative care or both. We can give up on life or continue to live it fully each day. 

Cancer provides a serious challenge to the love of those whom it affects. If we give in to its onslaught, it can destroy our relationships. If we rise to the challenge we can deepen our ties to a point beyond the reach of cancer or of any other misfortune.

Life Lab Lessons

  • What adversities do you face in your relationships?

  • How have you handled adversity in the past?

  • What joys do you share with those you love?

  • Have you relished these joys with them?

  • How can you use your love, patience and kindness to overcome your trials together?  

+++++

 

Sticks and Stones May Break Our Bones

(10-25-08)

     The realization that many of us have joined company with our government in conducting their affairs on borrowed money prompted my last column. Recently I became aware of another parallel, one between political candidates and aspiring college students.
     Candidates have often followed a pattern of promising to run their campaigns focusing on the issues. When it comes down to brass tacks, the gloves come off and the political ads become ugly. Jodi Cohen recently reported in a Chicago Tribune article that some high school seniors and their parents have taken to sending anonymous letters to prospective colleges. The letters served to sling mud at other applicants in an attempt to reduce competition for freshman slots.
     What do these observations say about our political system and students who want to “better” themselves at others’ expense? What about others who employ such tactics? We like to think of ourselves as living in a civilized society. Tramping on others to get what we want is obviously not very civilized. To my way of thinking, such behavior suggests that those who employ it be quite unsure of themselves. They don’t feel they accomplish enough on their own merits. Desperate measures indeed.
     Perhaps some people seek positions for which they are unqualified. If they can make the competition look bad, their own chance of getting what they want improves.
     What does this behavior do to our society? One effect is to undermine our trust in each other. Expecting lies, distortions or having our shortcomings publicly displayed makes the rest of us more cautious about what we reveal to others. Even if we don’t have any significant shortcomings, putting ourselves in the public eye risks attacks by those who find our words threatening to them in some way. If good people are afraid to take such risks, more opportunity remains for those with flexible morals. What can society expect of these individuals once they get what they want?
     So what’s the alternative? Unfortunately, no one is in charge of deciding how we should live constructively in society. In our country, freedom of speech remains one of our basic rights. We have legal sanctions for libel and slander but rumors are often perpetuated with few consequences.
     That leaves it up to us to develop a society where we are more respectful of each other and accept others’ greater skills and qualifications without resorting to dirty tricks. Society doesn’t change by itself. It changes only when its citizens change. It is up to us to change our own lives and relationships. These personal strides will eventually result in a different society. We have limited power as individuals but, when we all start acting more responsible, we will find ourselves living in a world where we can feel better about each other.

Life Lab Lessons

  • How do you react to attacks on others’ character?

  • Do you pass on the attacks in your conversations?

  • Is what you say about others true?

  • Is what you say kind?

  • Do your words about others serve any constructive purpose?